Fear and Training Wheels

I watched as my dad took the training wheels off my bike. I threw my leg over the bike and then stood there with my feet touching the ground. I could feel the sweat on my hands, the warmth up the back of my neck, and a tightness in my stomach. The moment had come for me to either try to ride this bike or drop it in the street and run and always wonder what it would have been like to ride the bike my father had taught me to ride. Well I took off and Dad was right behind me. I busted my knees a few times, cried from the sting on my knee (frustration and embarrassment), got a band-aid, and tried again. Every time he helped me climb back on and every time he cheered me on.



Eventually, I was tearing through the neighborhood with my friends, thinking we were rulers of the world (not poor little kids with banged up knees), as we splashed through mud puddles, tore through the neighbors’ back yards, and raced the setting sun home! Those streets and alleys and muddy yards were ours for the taking! (Excuse me while I go paint my face blue and white...Freedom!!!)



Looking back, I wish I would have taken my own life lessons to heart and experienced the freedom and adventure that comes with walking away from fear. I have recently been thinking about fear and freedom. This started a several days ago observing and listening to others, and the other morning I started reflecting on how I've handled fear throughout my life. There have been times that I have ruled the world because I overcame fear and realized what I was experiencing because I had freedom from fear. And there are times that I am captive to fear and can only focus on the sting of my bleeding knee. At times there have been things I really wanted, but fear (and his close cousin, aka doubt) kept my feet planted on the ground on either side of my bike, so I never knew what was in store for me. Actually, I did it again, just the other night. I sat with a group of friends wondering if it would be OK to share what was really pressing into me. Could I take the training wheels off? Would I crash in front of everybody? What if I lost control? What if somebody said "You ride like a girl!" (Oh wait I am a girl.) Anyway, I held back, feeling it would be too much, too over the top, too much drama, too dangerous, etc, etc. I don't know who, but I think there was a friend hanging out, really hoping that a friend would peddle his/her bike down the street. I wonder who was going to gain from what I should have shared. I pray that God gives me a chance to try again. Guess I just need to remember that He is running behind me, cheering me on, with a band-aid in His pocket.