Now I'm Really Mad

I am so pissed off!! God, I am sick and tired and boiling with rage!
My heart has broken over and over and over for my brothers and sisters. It's enough!!

I'm fed up with watching my brothers and sisters being sold lies and being lashed down in bondage.

Satan pounces on our vulnerabilities (willing and weak) and he numbs them, twists them, perverses them. If we got hurt, we hardened it up so we can't feel, if we screw up, we hide it away because of the shame and guilt that the enemy puts on us. Then we try to connect. You made us for fellowship, connection with each other. Once we're numb, perverse, and crippled, the enemy lets fly the longing for connection, and he sits back and laughs and cheers, as we try to connect and we screw it up and damage each other; making more places to fill with hurt, guilt, shame, and hardness.

God my blood boils!!! I feel I'll explode!

I see the enemy attacking my brothers, my sisters, and even Your Bride. He is trying with all his might to derail us all. Why God? Why? He knows Your authority, he will not prevail, he will bow to You.

I'm so sick of him smothering my sisters and brothers in the shame and guilt of divorce, sex outside of Your design, abuse, materialism, pregnancy, abortion, suicide, greed, pornography, addictions, false insignificance, the crap put on them by some broken lover, who is really just being used as a tool. A tool of the enemy, who will soon discard them like a used condom. Yeah, I know, "How gross." That's what the enemy wants us to believe, that we are cheap, repulsive, gross, embarrassing, awkward, socially unacceptable, and most importantly we should keep it to ourselves and we shouldn't talk about it.

The enemy can't come into the Light of God. Bring your whole hurt self to the Light. Who cares if another person judges you...they have their own rank baggage that they're trying to swallow and hide.

Christ's suffering was for our "used condoms" and "rank baggage". He died because of these things. He pursues us to free us from them. If we would drop them at His feet, we would be free!!!!! But no. We're ashamed, or shocked, or guilty, or afraid of exposure so we hide it and "no one" can see it; not even we can see it sometimes. Satan can hide it that well.

Christ asks us to give it to Him. We have a choice. Satan on the other hand whispers, "How could you do something so awful, so disgusting, so stupid. You're gross. You're a freak. You don't deserve anything." The enemy plants all this detritus in our soul, to shut us up and to isolate us from one another and from God.

God is equipping us for this battle. I recently read about God "forming an army that marches and fights on their knees." I am being equipped and I am eager for the battle.